Lambert: The Big Hairy Uncle

When I first arrived on the farm, I had six ewes to watch.

I learned their names. I learned their personalities. I learned which ones would butt-push me away from the feeder.

About the time I had it all figured out, things changed.

Early one spring morning, when the ground was frosty, a ewe went into the barn and pawed at the straw. In the early morning darkness, I wasn't sure what I should do, so I just hung close and watched.

Within an hour, there were two creatures that looked just like their mom -- only shorter, skinnier and wetter.

Right then, I decided that if those little creatures were friends of my ewe friends, I'd be their friends, too!

The little creatures called me "uncle" and liked to climb on top of me. It really didn't hurt. They weighed less than a bale of straw.

Some of them were pretty funny. Some were whiny. A few, independent.

I, of course, had my favorites.

Trick: How to land a home on the farm

I was born on a neighboring farm (the Tricks). When I was about four months old, it became obvious that there wasn't room for another male cat on the farm. So I went wandering.

When I came across this barn, I thought I'd hit the jackpot. It had hay -- perfect for sleeping. It also had mice that made tasty meals. When I took a short walk, I found another barn and house that had corn -- and occasionally cat food.

The downside was that it had dogs.

It also had a reputation.

Stories around my birthplace told of male cats who got trapped in cages, went on a car ride, and woke up back at the farm with key parts of their anatomy missing.

But I was too smart for that.

I charmed the female resident of the farm. Once a day, I let her pet me.

But what really turned her on was when I paraded around with a mouse in my mouth. When I did that daily for a few weeks, she started reciprocating and offering cat food to me.

I knew I had a permanent home then.

One day, when I went for my daily petting, she reached down, grabbed me and put me in a cage. I went on a car ride and woke up back at the farm with key parts of my anatomy missing.

Unlike the other cats, though, I stayed.

Llambert: Making Do

Oh, I prefer my ladies long-legged, long-necked, and hairy like me, but sometimes, you have to make do with what you have.

So I learned to like those short-legged, big-bellied ewes. They were more hospitable than the horses and less flighty than the chickens.

The sheep, like me, enjoyed spending the afternoon dozing and ruminating.

Within days, I was following them to the pasture to graze. Being an attentive guy, I watched for any strange dogs -- or strange people -- who might threaten us. I became their protector... except at feeding time.

When the farm owner filled the feeders with hay, I pushed them out of my way, gently, of course.

Size has its advantages.

For months, that was our routine. But on one spring morning, things changed. It was lambing season.

Llambert: How I arrived on the farm

When growing up on a llama farm, my owner told my llama friends things like:

"Your hair will make someone a nice sweater... or scarf... or mittens." My llama friends had soft hair in pretty tan, blonde, silver, red and white colors.

She looked at me and said, "Socks. Your hair will make socks."

No one wants a brown sweater.

As it turned out, no one wanted brown socks either.

"I have a new job for you," the farm owner said one day. "You are going to be a guardian angel."

She walked me into a trailer, and I went on a long ride. When I stepped out, I saw the funniest-looking llamas ever.

"They're sheep," my new owner said. "You're going to live with them and keep them safe."

I'd never seen such strange creatures. They had stubby legs, short necks, and little ears.

I knew one thing for certain: their legs weren't built for llama wool knee socks. It would be bobby socks for them!

Meet the Cast!

This blog features true animal tales -- as told by the animals. Today, I introduce the cast.

Dewey Kitty
Adopted as a kitten from the animal shelter in 2010, Dewey Kitty is always finding ways to torment the farm's residents. But he can be sweet and charming -- and quite the showman! Trick-trained, he loves performing his agility tricks and the "bam-fall-over-dead" act.



Louie
Adopted as an adult cat from the animal shelter in 2010, Louie is still wondering how he went from living the sedate, pampered life of an only pet to living in a home with a terrorist kitty (whom he secretly adores) and too many Border collies.

Trick the Cat

A stray who became a permanent resident several years ago, Trick hangs out in the livestock barn where he delights in lounging among the chickens, teasing the lambs, and tackling the working Border collies. A champion mouser, he's deemed the best barn cat on the farm!


Leslie
A stray who became a permanent resident, Leslie lives in the hay and equipment barn where she delights in sunning herself in the dairy parlor window. She's pretty; she's cute; and she can't be bothered with catching mice.

Caeli the Queen, aka The Coyote Girl
Adopted from Buckeye Border Collie Rescue in 2008, Caeli leads the Border collie pack. She's rather intense about herding sheep, playing ball, and life in general.

Tag
Adopted from Buckeye Border Collie Rescue in 2006, this little guy has his own fan club. He's sweet; he's charming; he's obedient; and he doesn't herd sheep.

Mickey
After retiring from the highest level of herding competition, Mickey accepted a new assignment -- teaching a novice about the art of sheep herding. It's proving to be a tough job. While her age is 11, Mickey is still a puppy at heart and always eager to work, cuddle and charm.

Llambert the Llama
Llambert guards the sheep. Always alert, he notices when a strange person or dog enters the farm. And yes, he does spit.

Lily the Golden Girl, aka Barbie Horse
Lily's the leader of the two-horse herd. Charming and curious, she also likes to eat. She also enjoys the clicker game.

Jet, the Golden Girl
Jet, the taller and more athletic of the two Haflingers, follows Lily everywhere... especially when it's into mischief.

The Sheep
The Katahdin hair sheep often receive funny looks from visitors. That's because in the summer months, their coats shed and take on a more goat-like appearance. We also don't dock their tails. While most are white, others are spotted, freckled, red or brown.

The Buckeyes
The few dozen Buckeyes roam the barnyard and pastures around the farm. They provide entertainment, catch bugs, and occasionally lay eggs.